what did the policeman say to an armed robber? you can go, as long as you don't hurt my doughnuts

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Why didn't the boy want his dinner? Because it was a bowl of vomit.

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a suicidal man walks up 49 floors and enters a room and opens the window. hes worked there for 5 years and the air condition is broken

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What did bob say when he was told his beloved parents were dying? "oh"

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There are two muffins in an oven. Since they are inanimate objects, they do nothing but sit there and bake until they are a golden brown color, at which point a man takes them out of the oven and eats them for breakfast.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? The pilot. You racist.

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What did the doctor say to the actor? Your an actor.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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why did the chicken cross the road i hate it when people ask questions they already know the answer to

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What would happen if you put avocando, pineapple, sardines, peanut butter, brussel sprouts and milk into a blender and drank it. most probabley salmonala poisoning because the sardines were off.

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How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? 17.

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Why was the girl crying? DEEZ NUTS!

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp

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A teacher tells one of her students, "If I say 'I am beautiful', which tense is that?" The student tells her, "Didn't your mother ever tell you that lying is bad?"

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A Frenchman, an Irishman, and a Russian walk into a bar. The Frenchman orders a glass of wine, the Irishman orders a whisky, and the Russian, who prefers to be sober, orders a glass of water. They have an all-around pleasant night, yet they leave the bar upset. Why? A severe water contamination in the town resulted in the Russian man consuming a fatal dose of arsenic.

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have a gun get in the van

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Yo momma is so stupid when she drove to Disney World she saw that said "Disney World Left" so she turned on her turn signal and made a left turn. She promptly arrived at Disney World but realized she had left her wallet at the hotel.

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Why is Ray Charles always smiling? He's not, corpses rarely smile

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Bariande: I have a belly button Kraken: haha who doesnt? MissAwkward: i dont Barinade: neither do i. haha this happened on tiny chat.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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Did you know that if you rearrange the letter in "Gill Lube", you can spell "Gullible"?

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why was the boy lonely? his whole family died in a plane crash

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black I am blind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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