How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Kindly ask him to come down.

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you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

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You always hear of the 9/11 stories where people who work in the World Trade Centers were late that day or home sick or whatever. My mom also worked there. It was a normal morning, got up to make us breakfast, got us to school on time, the whole bit. After having to do all that stuff, she actually got to work on time, and she died in the attack.

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A man walks into a bar the bartender looks at the man and says "Hey son you wanna make one hundred bucks?" the man looks at the bartender and says "Im not your son."

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Why did the Mexicans climb the fence? When they were tossing frisbee and accidentally tossed it into their neighbors yard and they had to go get it.

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what happened to the man who is standing in the rain? he got wet

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What happens when you mix bleach and ammonia? You eventually die of respiratory failure from inhaling chlorine gas and possibly an exploding toilet.

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Why is McDonalds bad for you? Because their is so much fat in all its products, and contains many calories.

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What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Well, a pizza is edible object provided for human consumption, and a jew is a holy human being believing in the prophet abraham.

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Q) What did the Irishman get for his birthday? A) Drunk

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Why aren't anti jokes funny? Idk. Watermelon in your pants, you're adopted.

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"Knock knock" "The doors open" "Oh, okay"

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bologna

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What did the blonde call her pet zebra? Isaac

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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How do you get a bird off the roof you throw an ax at it

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A Quadriplegic walks into a bar.

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what do you call a dog with no legs? whatever his owner named him it is a shame he can`t run and play with other dogs.

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What do you call 4 black men in a BMW? Successful Businessmen.

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what is the difference between batman and a black guy. bat man is white

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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What do you call a black person who can't see? Blind

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Why couldn't the man open his car door for the women? He drove a jeep with removable doors

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Two guys went into a bar and started drinking. After sometime one guy said to the other, "I love your mother.I want to marry her." The other guy said,"Come on dad,you have been drinking too much."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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