A Frenchman, an Irishman, and a Russian walk into a bar. The Frenchman orders a glass of wine, the Irishman orders a whisky, and the Russian, who prefers to be sober, orders a glass of water. They have an all-around pleasant night, yet they leave the bar upset. Why? A severe water contamination in the town resulted in the Russian man consuming a fatal dose of arsenic.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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What did the doctor say to the actor? Your an actor.

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A woman wears a dress.

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he suffered severe blood loss and is most likely dead.

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Why didn't the boy want his dinner? Because it was a bowl of vomit.

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a suicidal man walks up 49 floors and enters a room and opens the window. hes worked there for 5 years and the air condition is broken

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why did the chicken cross the road i hate it when people ask questions they already know the answer to

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? The pilot. You racist.

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What did bob say when he was told his beloved parents were dying? "oh"

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There are two muffins in an oven. Since they are inanimate objects, they do nothing but sit there and bake until they are a golden brown color, at which point a man takes them out of the oven and eats them for breakfast.

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what did the policeman say to an armed robber? you can go, as long as you don't hurt my doughnuts

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What looks like half a loaf of bread. The other half

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Why didn't the boy eat chocolate yesterday Because he was allergic.

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How many Mexicans does it take to cross the border? Don't answer, just think and laugh.

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What did the black jewish homosexual say to the conquistador? Nothing as they were both from entirely different time periods.

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what is worse than losing your phone? having it destroyed because you were texting while driving causing an accident and you are not eligible for and upgrade for another two months.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where did my tractor go.

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Q. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? A. From a catalogue.

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What would Steve Jobs be doing if he were alive today? Dying.

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Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

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q; whats small and high pitched a; rory johnston

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What do you call something thats mostly made of wood, big, round and stupid A retarded version of the Knights of the round table

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Whats brown and can't ride a bike? A lampshade.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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