What did the horse get for Christmas? Starvation and neglect because its owner has been dead for three months of old age and he was a raging, angry, achoholic so no one cared if hey was dead and/or bothered to see if he was alive

An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Viking are all fighting over a piece of land. The piece of land was the whole of England and this was the beginning of the Noman conquest in 1066.

What do you call a Mexican flying a plane from Mexico City to Los Angeles? A pilot you racist.

What do you call a naked couple? Horny.

why cant fat people walk because they are fat

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm an expert on flowers.

What did the racist white guy say to the black guy? "I don't like Asians."

Why was the black man kicked out of the restaurant? Blatant racism was still very prevalent at that time and place.

What happens when you take a break from reality? Nothing, it's impossible, unless you live in a virtual world.

why was the apple on the ground? because it fell

A black man, a white man, and an Asian man walk into a bar. The black man says, "My wife died in a terrible book-keeping accident.". The white man says, "My wife died in a terrible lightbulb-sorting accident.". The Asian says, "My wife died in a terrible geography accident.". Soon after, the bar was hit by a missile, promptly killing the three men.

What is an emulation? I am not as stupid as I seem by the way, I am just a bit shaky myself, but don't you worry i will answer whatever you need,

A man walks into a Norfolk pub. The landlord (not being very worldly) notices he is of Middle Eastern descent and asks "are you Bin Laden"? To this the man replies "No I bin Swaffham". (Needs to be said in Norfolk accent)

How do you kill a turtle? You can't, it has a shell for a reason.

a man walks into a bar, it hurt.

A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

Q. What has four legs, but can't walk? A. A dog dying of a serious illness...

A man and his dog walk into the park, the man grabs a ball and chucks it for the dog. The dog can not chase after the ball because he has no legs and bites his owners leg.

A horse didn't walk into a bar. The door wasn't big enough

roses are red, violets are blue, penis

Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

knock knock who's there? Madeline McCann really? no

Why did god make asians? I dont know. Yah, me niether

Whats better than Anti-jokes? Mtiscape.com

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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