A man used a ruler to measure his foot, it was size 11

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave Smith.

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Q. Why was the boy depressed? A. Because he lives in a world where apparently all girls are right.

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"What the hell is wrong with you?" "..."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cancer

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. What do flowers have to do with this joke I want to tell you?

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Q: What's worse than 6 dead babies in a trash can? A: One dead baby in 6 trash cans.

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What did the blind, deaf and mute kid get for Christmas? Cancer

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How do the american stop getting fat ? They don't.

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Q. What is the answer to life the universe and everything A. 42

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what did your mom say when she did crack? i am so f***ed up its not even funny, i mean, i literally screwed the racoon in our back yard. i certainly remember a lot of drugs and alcohol. i am pretty sure i raped your friend, billy. I also went all lezbo on your girlfriend. i murdered your brother. he was telling me to stop, so i lit him on fire and made him eat cigarettes. the very abusive mother was then charged with murder, rape, possesion of illegal drugs, assault and several other charges involving that one crazy night. refrigerator.

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Hhahahahahhahhahahahahhaahhayournanisdeadhahhahahahahahahah

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How do you make a baby float? Two scopes of Ice cream and two scopes of baby.....and the holocaust.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Why were there bones on the moon? The cow diden't make it.

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A lysdexic man trys to rite a joek... the people who tried reading it got confused and offered help in rewriting it.

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A boy spilt his milk on the floor, and then cleaned it up before his mum got home.

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What did the black man say when he met a white man in the street? "Hello, how are you?"

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(Insert joke here)

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. I don't know, I've had a bad day, I can't think straight. Why do you keep asking me these questions? Always talking at me, everyday it's the same - why can't you just shut up?! I would be better off dead, then it would stop, this suffocating blackness. I need to escape...I'm going to do it tonight...pills, something like that...I don't care any longer. Goodbye.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, There are so many different endings to this, it makes me just wanna Shoot Myself!

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What did the scuba diver say to his partner when he got stuck in some seaweed. Something that sort of sounded like glug, or maybe blub, or some other sound you would hear trying to talk underwater.

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What does a homeless man get for Valentines Day? Divorce papers

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Doctor! Doctor! There is a fly in my soup! Moral: Huh?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops