Why do blondes where knickers? to keep their ankles warm

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What's short, green, and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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what do friends and trees have in common? If you hit them with an axe multiple times they fall over

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Why is life so hard? Because god isn't real

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What happens when you throw a blue rock into red water? It gets wet...

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Why was the boy sad? Because his family was raped and stripped of their possessions

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A man stepped on a nail. He died shortly after of lockjaw.

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What happened to the house that was made without concrete? It fell over.

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Horse with a chair on his head.

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How did 6-year old dyslexic boy start his essay on soap? Sopa is shit...

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

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An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

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Why did the muslim cross the road? To get to the other Saiid.

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What did the widow get for mother's day? A miscarriage

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I fantasize about having sex with a moose

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Kobe Bryant passing the ball

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Why did the editor lose his job at a poetry magazine? Because he's worthless.

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What is wet, white and sticky? Glue, of course.

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wanna hear a joke? woman's rights.

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Why did the fat guy smell bad? He just farted diarrhea.

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A women walks into a bar which is means she is pretty rich to be able to have a bar in her kitchen

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Whats black, dead, and hangs from a tree in my backyard? Your Mom

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How do you take money from a Mexican? You don't because they have none.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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