Two cows in a field one says Moo the other says, Moo

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Two muffins were in an oven. One of them said, "It's sure hot in here!" The other muffin didn't respond because it's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a 6 year old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a house full of Mexicans? A house

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what did a ginger say to god? nothing gingers dont have souls and therefore cant go to heaven

thumb_up thumb_down +24

i was in bed with a girl recently and she said to me 'I want tonight to be magical', so afterwards i disappeared.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Legal Mexicans in Texas

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He was killed in action and his family misses him terribly.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are red, violets are red. Aaaaaahh! My garden's on fire!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the fish cross the road? Because the chicken was carrying an aquarium.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Where did the guy who shot his neighbor go? Jail, because he was caught, sent to court, and was convicted of murder.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why couldnt the black guy swim? He couldn't swim because he had no parental figures growing up. His dad was part of a gang and his mom was a crack addict. He had noone to teach him how to swim.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Want to get shot? Go to Virginia Tech. Too Soon?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whats a dogs favorite thing to eat? Food.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why do black people like kool aid? Why It is a very hydrating and delicious drink

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Have you ever tasted Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why couldn't the dumbass go to colledge? He couldn't open the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo, time to go to Auschwitz.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a piece of toast.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops