Why did the Grandad teabag his Grandson? Because he likes dipping his balls into the mouths of his Grandchildren; as if they were a teabag and his mouth was a mug.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats wrong Nero? What happened? Please pick up the phone, I am trying to call you, but it just goes from dialing to changing tunes, please do not be upset with me, what did I do wrong? I thought we had an understanding, please just pick up the phone, if you already have my number and all you got nothing to lose...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what did Susie, the girl with no arms, say after she fell off the swing? nothing, she was killed on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

dickdickvdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdick

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the bird say to the fence? Chirp.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you haven't already said twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What would you call the baby of an elephant and a rhinoceros? Nothing. They are two entirely different species and therefore cannot breed.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why do girls like Justin Beiber? They dont

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Barack Obama.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red, Bacon is brown, this poem makes no sence, BACON!!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it doesn't have the capacity for rational thought and decision-making and was subsequently hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

2 men walked into a bar. the other one ducked.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock Who's there? The KKK, got any blacks?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

This is the same thing you told me once, believe me, it helps holding into it.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did the man get arrested? because he was a thief, and thieving is completely unacceptable in a civilised society

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you get when you hit a kid with a hockeystick? arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's wanted by none, wanted by one, and is worse than Terran Hansen? Brooke Colbert. Go you Jesse.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A white guy, a mexican, and a black guy are in a race. Who always wins? Whichever one crosses the finish line first

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what did the guy say when his partner took a poop on his chest? It was unnecessary for you to deficate onto my chest. In no way at all was that sexually stimulating, and i shall consider seeking out a new partner.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whats long, black, and smells like shit? a big turd

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's brown and sticky??? A brown stick

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what did the African kid get for his birthday AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops