Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

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Why did the Grandad teabag his Grandson? Because he likes dipping his balls into the mouths of his Grandchildren; as if they were a teabag and his mouth was a mug.

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An old white lady falls on the ground in the middle of the night. Just then, two positively huge black men in hoodies walk up to her and she is frightened. But as it turned out, they just wanted to help her get on her feet, and called a taxi for her. When she had no money, they gladly paid her fare. This is because they're good people and not muggers

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a swingset? No I didn't. Ya it was actually really nice.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You help him down.

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dickdickvdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdick

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what did Susie, the girl with no arms, say after she fell off the swing? nothing, she was killed on impact.

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What do you call a fucking idiotic douchebag with ebola? An ebloa paitent

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Just got back from the corner store. Bought 3 corners.

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My mom told me I was pretty, I know now that she is a liar.

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How do you get a blonde's attention? Throw deodorant at her until she looks.

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"Knock knock" "The doors open" "Oh, okay"

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What do you call a prostitute with morals? Ironic.

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Q) What did the Irishman get for his birthday? A) Drunk

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what happened to the little girl when she crossed the line she was shot. shes mexican

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A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. A heated religious debate ensues in which everyone is uncomfortable and leaves questioning their own faith and fearing the unknown.

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What's the funniest part of a tomato? The skin.

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A Brunette, a Redhead and a Blond all jump off a cliff, which one will hit the ground last? Since the acceleration of gravity is 9.8 m/s they will all hit the ground simultaneously and with enough force to completly shatter their bodys making body recovery extreemly difficult. They must have had a hard life.

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What would you do if the house you're sitting in now exploded? Nothing really, you would have died a horrible death.

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Why aren't anti jokes funny? Idk. Watermelon in your pants, you're adopted.

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Everything's looking fine, ma'am. Hope to see you again real soon.

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who looks like justin bieber and is really cool? george darling but i lied about him being cool.

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how do you tune a piano, you dont, piano tuners tune a piano, I wasn't talking to you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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