What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

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What's Funny About A Black Man Being Shot? Nothing, That Man Was My Friend.

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A dyslexic Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. He hits his head on it and is rushed to the hospital,only to discover the floor drenched in triceratops shit.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "A door to door salesman. Are you unsatisfied with the way your dish soap handles your plates? Then I have the product for you!" "I'm not interested in your product, but thank you anyway." "No problem. On an off note, how did you hear me? I didn't speak very loudly when I said knock knock, and I didn't even bother to knock on the door or ring the doorbell." "I have really good hearing." "Oh, okay. And for future reference, maybe you should open the door when talking to a visitor. Then body language gets established and the conversation flows more nicely that way." "That's some good advice, and I'll take it. Thanks, salesman." "You're welcome. On to the next house."

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All the kids at school we're playing soccer on a sunny day except Jenny, because she had a headache and didn't come to school that day

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knock knock! whos there? me! me who? thats right! whats right? meehoo! thats what i want to know! whats what you want to know? me who? yes, exactly! exactly what? yes, i have an exactlywatt on a chain! exactly what on a chain? yes! yes what? no, exactlywatt! thats what i want to know! i told you--exactlywatt! exactly what? yes! yes what? yes, its with me! whats with you? exactlywatt--thats whats with me! me who? yes! Go away! knock knock.....

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Why didn't the little boy hear the ice cream truck? He was deaf.

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What do you say to a friend named Alex? The Game

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Q.What did the homeless kid get from santa? A. Play Doe. Because he was a good boy. Q.what did the Rich Kid get form santa? A Coal. Because he was a bod boy. The rich kid then got mad and threw the coal at the homeless kid hitting him on the head which killed him of enturnaly bleeding.

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Your momma's so dumb, she has below average IQ.

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When life gives you lemons you mix them with vinegar to make a drink that will help your high blood pressure.

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How many times has Susie fallen off the swing? Not enough.

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An Irishman walks out of a bar.

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My love life

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A man tells the bartender," A bar walks into a man..." The bartender says," What the hell? I think you've had enough"

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Knock, Knock. Come in!

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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wat is the name of a girl u can play connect the dots on her face laurie pisciotta

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Why wasn't Steve paying attention in class? Because he was dead.

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13

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Bear walks into bar and says to eagle may I have a................... drink eagle says why the long pause hohahahohahahohaha

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How do you get a blonde's attention? Throw deodorant at her until she looks.

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What do you call a fucking idiotic douchebag with ebola? An ebloa paitent

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What do you call a prostitute with morals? Ironic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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