Two guys went into a bar and started drinking. After sometime one guy said to the other, "I love your mother.I want to marry her." The other guy said,"Come on dad,you have been drinking too much."

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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? What you probably have is a lawyer on holiday with his children, allowing himself or herself to be buried in order to please said children.

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Why do dragons shoot fire? I don't know, I'm asking you the question.

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Roses are red, violets are black, you better watch your anus, cause jimmy is back!!

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Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

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Q: What are 4 consecutive fart's called? A: Fart's, unless someone gives them names?

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What do you think when you see an asian woman behind the wheel of a car? She's very attractive.

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What's big and green and would probably kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table.

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What's worse than a baby in a trash can The holocaust

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How do you kill Chuck Norris. Shoot him in the face

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What do you get when you cross a muffin with chocolate chips? A chocolate chip muffin.

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Whats invisable and smells like a apple? An invisable apple

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Once upon a time there was a pure and beautiful girl who lived with her step-mother and her two step-sisters. They made her live in the basement and had her do all the chores while they went to parties. Then social workers came and relocated her to a foster family.

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Sometimes I wonder; why is that frisbee getting closer? Then it hits me. Someone just threw a frisbee at me.

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I've never seen your mother, so I won't make any vile suggestions concerning her weight.

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An american, a brit and a mexican are on a plane. The brit throws out a bag of tea, explaining to the confused others: "We have so much tea in England we can just throw it out!". The mexican proceeds by throwing a bag of peppers out, explaining "We have so much peppers in Mexico, we can just throw it out!". The american proceeds to throw the mexican out of the plane. "Why did you do that?!" exclaimed the brit. The american turned around. "He killed my wife."

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A guy walks into a bar. He has a couple beers, gets in his car and goes home. He got arrested on the way because it is illegal to drink and drive.

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how do you stop a rhino from charging? you shoot it with a gun until it's either dead or no longer charging at you because thats a highly dangerous situation.

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Nina and Harry sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes divorce because their marriage didn't turn out right and Harry hit Nina in the head with a iron...

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I scream. You scream. We all scream and huddle in a corner of our first grade classroom because of a masked gunman.

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A smart kid just answered a question in class, a blonde girl then says "Nerd, your always answering all the questions". The teacher then says "Hey thats not nice, he could be your boss one day." The smart kid quickly replies "Highly unlikely, i do not plan on being a pimp when i grow up".

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A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears.

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A man walks into a bar, and sees another man with a huge orange head. He asks the bartender, "Do you know why that man has such a huge orange head?" The bartender replies: I dont know, maybe if you buy him a drink he'll tell you. So that man walks over to the man with a huge orange head and buys him a drink. He says to him: Excuse me, sir but why do you have a big orange head? The man with the big orange head replies: Well, one day I was walking along the beach and I found an interesting bottle. So I opened it and out popped a genie. He told me I had three wishes. The first thing I asked for was to have all the money that I wanted, and the means to get more. Suddenly, My pockets were overflowing with cash. So then I wished for the most beautiful, perfect woman ever created and there she appeared in front of me, and we immediately fell in love. The third thing I asked for was a huge orange head.

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What do you call two black men walking down a stairwell? Their names.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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