Knock Knock Who's there? Xiao Kaan Xiao kaan who? Fu*k you ugly lauuhhh

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A german walks into a London Pub. He turns to the man on his left and says, " Hallo Kolleginnen und dort bar Mäzen. Ich bin gespannt zu sehen, ob wir eine Beziehung herzustellen, wie ich gesucht Gespräch, als ich in der wunderbaren Kultur, die London zu bieten hat. Ist das in Ordnung mit dir? Heil Hitler"

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What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

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why did rosa parks get moved to the back of the bus? she didnt call shotgun

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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Hey Jake can I use your lawnmower? Why Michael, so you can run over my cat like you did last night

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knock knock come in!

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The doctor woke up and the hooker he screwed told him she had the clap and he said thats the least of your problms bitch you have aids

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2 Penises

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I <3 Hitler

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What's the difference between a mac and a pc? Well haven't you seen the commercials.

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What's clear, glass-like, and makes your brain feel like it's exploding just by smelling it? Crystal Meth

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Why did a 36 year old Asian man stop in the middle of raping someone A: He realized that what he was doing was immoral and that it could scar someone for the rest of there lives and that he could serve a sentence of up to 35 years which would mean he would miss out on the special offers that QVC has to offer during this time

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Q-What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? A-Where's my tractor?

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Why didn't the cow go to the candy store It had diabetes poor cow :(

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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whats black and blue and white all over A little caucasian boy who is being abused by his parents

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What happened when my familys break on the car didn't work? They rolled down a hill and fell off a cliff and died. I loved them.

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Two chairs were sitting there. One chair says "Could you pass me that cup?" The other chair says "Oh my God a talking chair!"

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What's the worst way to die? Alone.

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Y R U A B? I don't know why I am a bee.

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If Timmy has 2 apples and Sarah has 7 apples, what is the square root of the distance of Mars and Jupiter divided by the speed of light if X equals the value of negative infinity given the equation X(2) - E=MC/7?

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks.

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How many skilled union workers does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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