Roses are red Violets are blue If you need a poo.... ...hold it in.

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what's the difference between dodo and doodoo doodoo is still around for you to see

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What did the astronaut say when he stepped on the moon? Oops, sorry.

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Human race: Let's play hide and seek! BOEING MH370: K faggotz :P

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What did the blonde say to the brunette? I just ate a chicken panini.

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Q:whats the difference between grass and a car? A:They all have wheels, except the grass

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how many people with ADHD does it take to screw in a light bulb? wanna go ride bikes

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There were three elephants in a bathtub. One said, "Pass me the soap." The other one said, "What do you think I am? A Radio???"

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What did the penis say to the vagina? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, chickens aren't capable of crossing roads without being involved in a car accident.

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Ask me if I'm wearing pants. Are you wearing pants? Yeah.

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oh no, i've lost my tractor

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic and his problem is destroying his family.

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Alpine Ibexes climb nearly 90 degree angles to lick salt deposits off mountain sides. They crave that mineral.

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A priest, a jew, and a pirate walk into a bar. An exchange of dialogue occurs with the bartender and hilarity ensues.

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Girl: How do I know if I'm Jewish? Guy: Are you Jewish? Girl: No. Guy: There ya go.

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when there's trouble lurking in your neighbourhood, who you gonna call? The local authorities.

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What did Pikachu say to Charmander? Nothing. Pokemon are fictional creatures, and thus, do not exist.

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Why was the little boy nervous about playing with the little girl? Because she had gonorrhea.

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What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

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Women's rights

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Whats black and can run fast? a panther.... racist

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean? Dead.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops