What do a purple grape and an elephant have in common? They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven beat and raped Six when he was child multiple times, and Seven threatened to kill Six if he told anyone.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Cars were invented after her death, so she never had the opportunity to learn.

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tradegy.

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What did the Japanese man do to the pizza? He ate it.

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What do you get when John pulls your toe off the waterfall and takes three from an caramel? -6 to the power of golf.

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LA Police, Christine Collins called. She wants her son back.

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Arrow in the Knee!

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Doctor Doctor i have a shoe in my braces. I bet it smells haha.

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Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? A giant spider-like insect that lays eggs in your brain which turn into larvae that drop down onto your tongue and eat your teeth slowly, then form a cocoon and turn into the spider-like insect spoken of previously. You then wake up from this terrible nightmare and get ready for your well paying job.

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just a man and his thoughts....and a smart phone app, and a loving family, thats not the point.

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A man walks into a music store and hears dubstep playing in the background and he says, "Ugh! I hate dubstep!" Suddenly the clerk gets extremely offended and says, "Haters gonna be gay!" The man chuckles at the clerk's remark and shakes his head. "No no no silly," He said. "Haters gonna not be deaf." He says shaking his head as he walks out. The clerk tries to elaborate on what the man meant, but he realizes he cannot hear his thoughts.

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a blond a her blond boyfriend were walking acrossed a river. she gose over the river but the ramp brecks when she's past. her boyfriend says wait until night and I'll get a flashlight and shine it acrossed get on the light beem and walk acrossed.she says no when I'm haf way acrossed you will turn the light off.

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What's black and white and red all over? A car in which some young hoodlum appears to have splashed a fair amount of red paint over the owner's otherwise charming checker pattern.

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Knock Kock Who's there Boo Boo Who? Boo Radley is a fictional character in the novel To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee. Don't cry.

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What's worse than 100 dead babies stapled to a wall? 100 live babies stapled to the wall!!!

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What do you call a fish with no fins? Dead.

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Your mother is so fat, she tried to suicide because she was unhappy with her weight. She tried a diet and it didn't work; she suffers from depression and went to see a doctor about her weight. Life is getting worse for your mother and she is starting to develop diabetes. Your relatives and cousins are going to the hospital to visit her sometime this week; the doctor says she only has about a week left before she passes away.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Because they work hard at it

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Why did Dave stop going to the laundromat? Because he was a suicide bomber.

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What's worse than stepping on a nail? stepping on the nail and falling on more nails face first.

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Roses are red, violets are blue No they're not, violets are violet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops