Why did the Mexican get arrested? Because he crossed the border.

you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

What did Jesus say as he walked on water and people went like WOHOO! OMG WE ARE TOTALLY GOING TO CHISEL THIS INTO JEWTUBE SO EVERYONE CAN SEE! "BEHOLD AS I WALK UPON THIS WATER WHILE ALL OF YOU HAVE FAILED BEFORE ME! ONLY I CAN WALK OF THIS WATER OF FROZEN WITHOUT SLIPPING! Nero: Because go fuck yourself asshole. Lol... Jewtube was not as widely available as youtube so yeah... Walking on ice without falling over was a big thing back then... You know such as OMG! EATING BREAD AND DRINKING WINE! WOOOOOOAAAAH SCIENCE! AND BURNING BUSHES SPOKE AND... Moral: "Ill be back, you know, just to annoy you, and because I want to, a real man needs no other reason, and that is why you fuckers need so many of them"

Why did the chicken cross the road? Scholars maintain that the translations to the chickens journal were lost in a hurricane hundreds of years ago. Therefore, the chicken crossed the road for unknown reasons and died knowing it had a dull, pointless life.

What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

Knock Knock Go Away

"This is Jesus Christ to Tim Tebow. Please leave me alone. Don't you know that my day off, is Sunday?"

Why the kid fall of his bike? He got hit by a fridge.

What do you get when you mix a baby and chemical waste? A bad smoothie.

if a joke has not punch line, how does that strike you?

What do you call a cross between a dog and a bumblebee? One messed up lab experiment!

why can stevie wonder drive? He's blind

Selena Gomez, Victoria Justice, and Arianna Grande walk into a bar. They were making a movie.

What did the def blind mute kid get for christmas? He doesnt know either

a cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. the cat is then escorted out of the bar because a cat in a bar is unsanitary. and they do not serve milk.

Why didn't little Billy's parents get him the new toy he wanted? Little Billy's parents are dead.

Why did the black man get arrested? He sold cocaine.

a horse walkes into a bar... never mind that's just Sarah Jessica Parker

Henry was struck by a train. He was mourned by his parents.

What do you call a man named Mark? Mark

What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

person 1:hello person 2:hello person 1:do you want to hear a joke ? person 2:yes person 1:good bye person 2:good bye

whats the diffrence between a lawnmower and a sack of dead babies? I dont have a lawnmower in my garage

What did the hooker get for Christmas ? AIDS.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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