How do you stop a drunk driver? With a minivan and family of four.

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Why did the black homeowner declare bankruptcy on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by continuing to pay his mortgage bills.

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What shakes and twitches and can be found at the sea bottom? A scuba diver running out of oxygen.

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Q:What do you call a sheep with no legs? A: A cloud.

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what's worse than the holocaust? nothing.

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Why couldn't the boy hide his penis? Circumcision.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swings? Because she didn't have arms or legs. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Suzie

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Why did the boy eat the apple. He really likes apples.

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Lad: Whats that smell Girl: Nothing Lad: That is right nothing now get into the kitchen!

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what do you call a black guy falling down a hill? A hiker with an inconveniance you racist son of a bitch

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Why did the plane crash? A loaf of bread was the pilot

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I had a quad when I was in high school, she was pretty but it was hard to get her out of the wheelchair.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

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Why did Joe not cross the road? Because the Pedestrian Crossing light said not to.

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What is black and white and cant get through revolving doors? A zebra with a spear through its head.

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Why was the Jimmy Sad? Because he had Autism.

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Knock knock, "Whos there" a business man who wants to sell you things that you don't need "Oh, go away"

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There once was a man from Nantucket, He sailed a boat.

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Why do blind people laugh at this joke? Because they can't read it and everyone else is laughing.

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Whats werst than taking candy from a baby. Throwing a baby off a cliff then eating the candy in fronts of its parents

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What do you get when you cross an African, a white person, an Asian and a Spaniard? Society's worst nightmare

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What did little John get for his birthday? No sort of disease or illness of any kind because he was in perfect health. He also got an Xbox.

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What happenend after the chicken tried to cross the road? a KFC opend

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The fox said to the walrus, "Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho!" And the walrus replied, "Goo-Goo-g'joob".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops