What was Helen Keller's favorite activity? fingering herself...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

So two men were drinking beer and one asks "Why are you so sad today, Lenny?" The other man replies "Because I was just diagnosed leukemia." Four days later Lenny dies and his body was buried at Cherryhill Cemetery where his family mourned over his death.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why don't traffic lights go swimming? Because they aren't sentient or animate, and therefore can't decide to undertake such an activity. Even if they were sentient, they wouldn't enjoy swimming as the water would damage their electrical works.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Yo mama is so nasty she won't take a shower till she is dead you idiot says the boy she won't die she has twenty thousand live

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Once upon a time there were three aliens. The first alien landed in a school,The second alien landed in a market, and the third alien landed in a preschool. When the first one landed the teacher asked the students who wants to go to the computer lab,all the students said me! me! me! and the alien learned me! me! me! When the second one landed the businessman asked him what he wanted, and he saw a toy gun and it talks and the gun said gun! gun! gun! and the alien learned it and said gun! gun! gun! Then when the third alien landed one preschooler stole another preschoolers lollipop then he said "He stole my lollipop"! And the alien learned it and said "he stole my lollipop!" Then someone got murdered and the three aliens went there and the murderer detective asked "Who killed that man!" And the first alien said me! Me! Me! "What did you kill him with!" Then the second alien said gun! gun! gun! "Why'd you kill him!" Then the third alien said "He stole my lollipop!" And that's it folks! ????????????????????????????????

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide, and drives women crazy. A 6 inch long 2 inch diameter syringe filled with heroin being injected into a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why are you worrying about the chicken? You just got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q; How did the blind man cross the road? A; very unsuccessfully leaving behind memories of his joys but soon forgotten smile

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was the user KyuremCult's name blacklisted on iFunny? She had been repeatedly banraided by people with no success, but because of the mass reports and the leading to some of her works being deleted, the system decided to blacklist her name from search.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

one day ill be as old as you but you'll be older then too.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud…

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One's fun to smash and the other is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is the difference between Madeleine McCan and a toaster? A toaster wasn't raped and murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock knock Who's there Isabelle Isabelle who? Is-a-bell necessary on a bike

thumb_up thumb_down -8

ADAM FANTUZZI SUCKS KIRANS BALL SACK

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the faggot say? Nothing, he shot himself due to high school bullying and rejecting parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whta's the difrence betwen a goat and a hors? The goat goed too eet the hors thre day ago!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

White men's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what are you mike bibby?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A bird flew into a cave and Batman said, "GET OOOUUUTTT!"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

three lesbians on a plane they were all responsible and had sex when they got home and not on the plane

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops