"Knock knock" "The doors open" "Oh, okay"

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My mom told me I was pretty, I know now that she is a liar.

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What would you do if the house you're sitting in now exploded? Nothing really, you would have died a horrible death.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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A Jewish man, a christian man, and a buddist man walk in bar, They all have to much to drink and are arrested for driving under the influence while trying to get back home.

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What did the bird say to the fence? Chirp.

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2 men walked into a bar. the other one ducked.

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What do you get when you hit a kid with a hockeystick? arrested.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you haven't already said twice.

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This is the same thing you told me once, believe me, it helps holding into it.

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why did the man get arrested? because he was a thief, and thieving is completely unacceptable in a civilised society

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whats long, black, and smells like shit? a big turd

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KKK, got any blacks?

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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Roses are red, Bacon is brown, this poem makes no sence, BACON!!

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse unable to comprehend english shits on the floor and leaves

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what did the guy say when his partner took a poop on his chest? It was unnecessary for you to deficate onto my chest. In no way at all was that sexually stimulating, and i shall consider seeking out a new partner.

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What's wanted by none, wanted by one, and is worse than Terran Hansen? Brooke Colbert. Go you Jesse.

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What would you call the baby of an elephant and a rhinoceros? Nothing. They are two entirely different species and therefore cannot breed.

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A white guy, a mexican, and a black guy are in a race. Who always wins? Whichever one crosses the finish line first

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Why do girls like Justin Beiber? They dont

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What's black, white and red all over? A cow after slaughter.

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Why am I sad right now? Because I just Sh*t my pants.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops