Today, my friend threw a lemon at me very hard and hit me in the testicles. FML

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HEY WATCH OUT FOR THAT TRUCK! What truck? Weird I could have sworn I saw a truck...

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My heart is in my hands. Call an ambulance.

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Barack Obama plays basketball

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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A horse walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything or say anything because it is a horse. It proceeds to walk around and knock over a few tables before finding the door.

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Q. Why did my ass feel so sweaty? A. Because i was exercising and suckn on some nips.

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Oh no my baby is dead. Ha.

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why did the women cross the road? she didnt, theres no road in the kitchen.

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There is more than one way to skin a cat. I used a potato skin peeler.

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What do Sandusky and micheal Jackson have in common? They are both white.

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Why did the family at dinner not tip the waiter? He was mean and spat in their food.

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What did the dad say when the irresponsible goth problem child asked for a gun Yes

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why do they sparkle?!?!?!?!

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How do you piss off a blind person? Tell him to piss in a round room.

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friends are like snowflakes. if you piss on them they go away

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A man with two broken legs walks into a bar.

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What do you do when you eat a loaf of bread? You throw it up because your brother made it

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Do you work at subway? Because you are giving me a footlong. Yes, please, on white bread, with turkey, ham, white cheddar, and all of the vegetables. Maybe a little bit of sweet onion sauce and sub sauce. Sure, that will be a combo with chips. Thank you very much.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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You just wasted time of your life reading this, and perhaps even more wasted time thumbing this down.

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why does breanna love pie? BECAUSE ITS JIMMYS LAST NAME

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What did King Tut say when he got scared? How would I know? It was over a thousand years ago.

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why did the chicken cross the road? he didn't make it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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