why does breanna love pie? BECAUSE ITS JIMMYS LAST NAME

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Do you work at subway? Because you are giving me a footlong. Yes, please, on white bread, with turkey, ham, white cheddar, and all of the vegetables. Maybe a little bit of sweet onion sauce and sub sauce. Sure, that will be a combo with chips. Thank you very much.

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What did King Tut say when he got scared? How would I know? It was over a thousand years ago.

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Yo Momma so fat, that the doctor prescribed her prescription drugs that deal with her eating disorder and recommended that she begin a low calorie diet and live a more active lifestyle.

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A man with two broken legs walks into a bar.

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What do you call a black man walking on the side of a road? A Pedestrian

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What do you do when you eat a loaf of bread? You throw it up because your brother made it

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Why did the family at dinner not tip the waiter? He was mean and spat in their food.

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What is yellow and writes? -A Ball Point Banana!

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My heart is in my hands. Call an ambulance.

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Why did the idiot take a selfie with his phone underwater? Because he's an idiot

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There is more than one way to skin a cat. I used a potato skin peeler.

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A horse walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything or say anything because it is a horse. It proceeds to walk around and knock over a few tables before finding the door.

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Today, my friend threw a lemon at me very hard and hit me in the testicles. FML

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Oh no my baby is dead. Ha.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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i think quinn is gay? you probably don't know him but when i walked him on him shoveling a ken doll is his butt

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q ggggggggggggggggg

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Q. Why did my ass feel so sweaty? A. Because i was exercising and suckn on some nips.

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why did the women cross the road? she didnt, theres no road in the kitchen.

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Barack Obama plays basketball

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HEY WATCH OUT FOR THAT TRUCK! What truck? Weird I could have sworn I saw a truck...

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What do Sandusky and micheal Jackson have in common? They are both white.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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