q ggggggggggggggggg

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Barack Obama plays basketball

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why did the women cross the road? she didnt, theres no road in the kitchen.

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Oh no my baby is dead. Ha.

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What do Sandusky and micheal Jackson have in common? They are both white.

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Q. Why did my ass feel so sweaty? A. Because i was exercising and suckn on some nips.

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Today, my friend threw a lemon at me very hard and hit me in the testicles. FML

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My heart is in my hands. Call an ambulance.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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HEY WATCH OUT FOR THAT TRUCK! What truck? Weird I could have sworn I saw a truck...

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What do you get when you mix red and yellow together? rellow

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Why wasn't Hellen Keller a good driver? She didnt get her driver license...

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What's green and looks like a red truck? A green truck.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.....

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Q: What happens when you sit in the middle of the road? A: You get hit by a car and die a horrible death as your family members mourn in the loss and remain sad forever.

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Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she cant use it, she is fat.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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why couldn't the blonde change the lightbulb? she couldn't find the leperchaun at the end of the rainbow

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Whites black white and red all over? The nazi flag.

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Q.what has big ears? A.your vagina.

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Why was john's balls itchy? Because he recently gained a severe infestation of pubic lice.

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What do you get when you cross a dead monkey, a chair fitted with wheels for use as a means of transport by a person, Isaac Newton & the creator of the website? Stephen Hawking.

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why did the man get ran over by a turtle? he crossed the STREET

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops