Roses are red Violets are blue life is a bitch and so are you

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Why did the fat man fall off the swing? Because he weighed 855 pounds and it broke.

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why couldn't the blonde change the lightbulb? she couldn't find the leperchaun at the end of the rainbow

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Q.what has big ears? A.your vagina.

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Why is this the best day of 10 year old Johnny's life? His parents were killed in 9/11, and Osama Bin Laden has been found and killed. What, Too soon?

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How do you drown a blond girl? Forcibly hold her head under water until it enters the lungs and prevents the absorption of oxygen leading to cerebral hypoxia and myocardial infarction.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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why did the man get ran over by a turtle? he crossed the STREET

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Yes, it's actually very nice.

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Youre mom is so dead...

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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how do fit 104 jews in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 100 in the ash tray.

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Why is there no aspirin in the jungle? Because aspirin is a man-made drug derived from salicylic acid, and it it is this that is extracted from willow bark, which used to be used by Cherokee Americans as a fever-reducer and pain-reliever.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My heart skipped a beat, I'm dead.

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Roses are red violets are blue you better run I see you

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A dyslexic man hears a joke, and laffs.

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Whites black white and red all over? The nazi flag.

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What do you get when you cross a dead monkey, a chair fitted with wheels for use as a means of transport by a person, Isaac Newton & the creator of the website? Stephen Hawking.

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Steve Jobs is alive In our Hearts <3

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Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she cant use it, she is fat.

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How many friends does it take to catch an owl? One because he was a bird catcher.

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Why was john's balls itchy? Because he recently gained a severe infestation of pubic lice.

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A sad horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse answers "My wife was just diagnosed with terminal cancer."

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops