A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the octopus say to the lion? Nothing, because the likely hood of a lion and an octopus meeting is incredibly slim, as an octopus is a sea creature, and a lion isn't. A lion and an octopus cant even communicate with each other anyway, so even if they did come across each other they wouldn’t be able to talk. Octopi are also anti-social creatures by nature so I can say with some confidence that the lion and the octopus will not have a convocation. Written By JAMES!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did one penguin say to the other? Flippty-flop-dop-boop-de-bop. Jazzhands.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is the Question to Life, the Universe, and Everything? 43 - 1 = ?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do Mexicans have sex? They get in bed, and the man puts his dick in his partner's vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the cat say to the cat? Miau

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the Jewish man commit suicide? Because he was not happy with his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

CAVE JOHNSON.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did your mom make food to feed the killweeds.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Your momma's so fat in her history class they wrote down what they were doing

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q. Why was little Timmy crying? A. Because his sister died of cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

knock knock There's no door

thumb_up thumb_down -10

If you rewind Gozilla, it's about a giant lizard that helps rebuild a burnig city, and then goes back into the ocean again...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what did the girls scream when they were being stalked? skydragon

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the PC say to the Mac? Nothing you idiot! Computers can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

how many niggaz dose it take to fit in al lightbolb?? 36 ahahahh yall deez nutz

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what leaves a bigger memory than a passionate kiss? A STAB WOUND!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the black man get shot Cause someone shot him

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari. A Ferrari isn't in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man stand's on a chair Then he fall's off

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Who did sally vote for in 1920 Nobody woman couldnt vote until 1928

thumb_up thumb_down -10

LIKE FOR GANGNAM STYLE. DISLIKE FOR JUSTIN BIEBER LETS SEE WHO WINS

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is Lady Gaga's real name? Who the crap knows?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops