Obama being reelected.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why did the baby fall out of the crib? it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

At 1:00AM, an old man is woken up by a knocking on the door. 'Knock knock' 'Who's there' 'An orange' The man opens the door to find a talking orange on his doorstep. The man remembers he has Schizophrenia and goes back to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it won't go to you anyways.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How come Tommy isn't allowed to sing anymore? Because he has a punctured artery, collapsed lung, fractured ribcage, and a failed organ...

thumb_up thumb_down -3

WELL YOU ARE ALL A ROOF. So pie, my dearest Adam. Like a butthole.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what do an elephant and a mouse have in common? nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the last thing to go through a flys head when it hits your windshield? Its ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's better than a gold brick? 2 gold bricks.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Your mother is so fat she has trouble finding clothes in her size.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

"Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "The police." "'The police', who?" "Sir, come out of your domicile with your hands up and no weapons present. You've just gone to an orphanage and massacred almost every nun who's worked there for almost five years. Not only that, but your son has also contracted AIDS from his previously lesbian girlfriend whom she has lost her mother too in the orphanage accident you've just caused."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What stars with C, is hairy on the outside, moist on the inside and ends with T and has UN in the middle? Coconut

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was the math book crying? Three men just brutally raped his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Patient: Doctor Doctor! Every Time I Drink Some Tea, My Eye Is Really Sore! Doctor: Next Time Take The Spoon Out...

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's brown and sticky? Shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Your mother is so classy, when I asked her to order at a fast food drive through she decided to park the car a eat inside.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

people say thers saftey in numbers, try telling that to 6 million jews

thumb_up thumb_down -3

whats black, dirty, and full of trash? A trash can

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a baby impaled on a stick? Lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin, "Sure is hot in here." The other muffin says, "AHHHH! A talking muffin."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man walks to a baseball game what does he see? Many people

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red , Violets Are Blue , i Dont Like rhyming , TITTIES !!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops