"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Interrupting Doctor" "Interrupting Doc-" "You have Cancer'

thumb_up thumb_down +14

"Have you seen the food African kids eat?" "No.." "NEITHER HAVE THEY!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are black, Violets are black, and I'm blind .

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man walks into a bar. He suffers a fatal concussion and the playground is shut down by local police until proper padding is installed.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do elephants and grapes have in common? They are both purple arpart from the elephant, which is grey. I lied about it being purple

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a man that's not funny? An un - funny man!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's long hard and full of seamen? A boat, or possibly a submarine.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

wanna hear a joke? woman's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A blue whale walks into a bar. The bartender says "What can I get for you?" The blue whale says "EEEEEEYYYYYYYOOOOHHHHHMMMMMMM"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

when trouble come down in your neighborhood who you gonna call? the local law enforcement or another form of personal protection

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

It was at the war and there was a camp site where a doctors helped injured soldiers. One soldier comes in the door and holds his arm. The doctor says "You got shot in the arm?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and holding his shoulder. The doctor says "You got shot in the shoulder?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and was dragging his left leg across the floor. The doctor says "You got shot in your leg?" The soldier says "No, I stepped on dog shhhttt."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a black priest? HOLY SHIT!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why is Osama Bin Laden scared of the dark? To be honest, I don't know, and I doubt you do either. Osama Bin Laden has been a fugitive on America's Top Ten Most Wanted list for over 10 years; there is no way that you could possibly know such personal information about him if the United States government can't even locate him and prosecute him for the heinous crimes he committed against the U.S. Don't ever lie to me again.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

That awkward momment when there is no Candy in the Van... <3

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Two muffins are in an oven. Neither of them talk due to the fact that they are muffins and are inanimate, therefore denying them the ability to talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the gorilla have big nostrils? Because it was a trait passed on to him from his biological father.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A chemist and his buddy walk into a bar. The chemist, trying to sound smart, says, "I would like a glass of H20." The buddy, being a normal person who actually cares if he looks like an idiot, asks for plain water.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the mushroom go to the party? Cause he was invited.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops