A man walks into a pole He breaks his nose And bleeds to death

yo mamma so fat that when she goes out in high heels she comes back in flip flops

What do you call a barrel full of monkeys? A game, you idiot.

OMG YOU BOUGHT ME FLOWERS THANK YOU

Scientists have discovered that the state of your hunger can affect what you say. For example, whether you choose to say ‘I’m hungry,’ or, ‘I’m not hungry,’ is based upon how hungry you are.

What's young and not funny? Todays anti-joke writers.

Q: What did the whale say to the other whale? A: MMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank! That's a felony. ;)

You're such a baby, that you are still in diapers! Ew! How would you know creep!

"Look me in the eye" said Cyclops.

Where do the biggest potatoes grow? the ground.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care?

What's black and has the texture of tar? Molasses

What happened to the little boys house? It burned down. How did the boy die? In the fire.

What did the walrus say to the Penguin. It said MAHHRGH. because walruses can't really talk

Have you ever tasted Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

Boys have swag, real men have class

A blonde was drinking water from the water fountain. She was very thirsty.

Whats worse than the Holocaust. Nothing the Holocaust was the single worst thing to happen ever.

Q. whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A. A jew is a human of the jewish religion, and a pizza is food.

Why was the muslim surprised? A tyrannosaurus rex bit off his legs.

?Three men walk in to a bar. one walks with a limp. The other two make fun of him and joke of his inability to walk as well as others around him.

Roses are red, violets are blue, they really should be purple.

Q: What did the schizophrenic man say to his father? A: "Every time grandmother's urn shrieks, this pornography turns to black ink."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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