How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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a jew throwing a dime into a wishing well.

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(Q) Why did the little boy cross the road? (A) To get to the police officer. (Q) Why did the little boy need the police officer? (A) because he was raped.

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What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

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What did the lawyer get for Christmas? More paper work

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if a white guy, a black guy and a hispanic guy jump off a 10 story building, who hits the ground first? the man who jumped first. racist.

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Knock, Knock The door's open

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What happened when a boy threw a ball at the wall? It hit him in the face

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Kid 1: "Want a Hurts Doughnut?" Kid 2: "Umm... sure." Kid 1 opens up a box of freshly baked Hurts doughnut from Hurts Bakery and gives one to kid 2

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Your landlord. I'm here to collect rent

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88

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WOMENS RIGHTS

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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What jew get for christmas? Your money.

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what do giraffes have that other animals don't have? -baby giraffes

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally weighed 500 lbs and it was a bamboo tree.

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What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

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What did the FBI agent say to the CIA agent. We're both agents

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my bubbles!

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Why did i write this joke knowing i wont get published? I don't know.

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Your mother is so fat.... I am happy to see her join our exercise group.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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