A guy walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

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There are 3 type of people in the world. People who can count, and people who can't.

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A barrel of monkeys is only a barrel of laughs if they're alive and telling jokes.

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Whats worse than falling down the stairs? Falling UP the stairs.

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what do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Bob

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Knock, Knock. Come in.

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A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

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"What's 'green', 'blue', and 'red' all over?" My color-blind friend said in confusion.

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Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

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why do holocasut jokes make us laugh? i dont know you tell me

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Why did the girl buy wine? She was hosting a party for four of her closest friends.

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Good to see you today!

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Why was the man sad after mowing is lawn? He ran over his dog.

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Q: What did the mime say to the crowd gathered at the crime scene? A:

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A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "Haha, sucker, this is actually a glue factory" The horse is brutally slaughtered and his remains are sold for a profit as part of a glue product

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Why did the deaf man go to the concert? He had recently acquired a brand new hearing aid which meant that he was able to hear much better and decided that he wanted to listen to some music.

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What's brown and sticky? a stick.

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How many jews can get in a Volvo? 5.

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Why did the hipster hate black people? Because he was racist.

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what the hell happened to your face

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your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

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Q: What is hard and long on a man? A: His wife's funeral

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What did the nintendo Wii say as it went down the slide? They don't talk.

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whats red and smells like blue paint? Hank Kovalcik

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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