What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

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What did one muffin in the oven say to the other muffin Nothing food doesn't talk

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Why did the woman keep getting sexually harassed while calling for her lost dog? Her dog is named "Ilovedicks."

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What's the difference between difference and between? One is different and the other between.

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Well I do want it to end now but...WHAT? How did you get that trough? I thought hypnosis was supposed to increase awareness and focus.

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a muslim walks into a bar, he then remembers his religion forbids the drinking of alcohol and walks back out

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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I Wish... I was Charlie Sheen's Dealer

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Why do black people eat watermelon? It is a good source of vitamin C.

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what does the pope have against homosexuals a whip

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your mama is so stupid i believe she will have a difficult time finding employment in these rough economic times

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why didnt the chicken cross the road? he did cross the road

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here's a joke a black man goes in a store and buy something

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What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings

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What's the difference between a rabbit and a plum? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Why was the blonde so stupid? He had dyslexia and to make fun of his hardship would truly be a hardship of human morals.

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Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

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A negro named Kanye walks into a Tavern... He's stoned to death.

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There are 3 type of people in the world. People who can count, and people who can't.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? A n a l

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Why did the boy go swimming in the ocean? He didn't. the current pulled him in and he drowned.

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Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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What runs faster than a nigger with a stolen tv? His brother with the remote

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops