a man cries out to god.... and god does't reply.

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How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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(Q) Why did the little boy cross the road? (A) To get to the police officer. (Q) Why did the little boy need the police officer? (A) because he was raped.

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Roses are der, Violets are lube, I am dyslexic.

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? It's a meaningless question because animals had been creating eggs for millions of years before chickens ever evolved.

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Two people on a boat, Pete and Repete. Pete fell off and Repete radioed the Coast Guard, who sadly got there just in time to watch him drown to his death.

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What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the world series? No Cubs!

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women's rights

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Q: what is more sad than being alone A: being alone with lots of cats

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What happens when you turn back time? You get "emit."

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? Nothing. They are both created in God's image and likeness so get your mind outta the gutter!

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What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A car that is driving recklessly and happens to have a Christmas paint scheme.

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Richard fell off of a cliff. He can fly.

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Your d*ck is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

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A black man and a hispanic man are riding in a car. Who's driving? The hispanic man

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"What's 'green', 'blue', and 'red' all over?" My color-blind friend said in confusion.

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these jokes are terrible, even for anti-jokes

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What did the priest do when he noticed the young boy bent over picking up crayons he had dropped? He helped him pick them up

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i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

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a jew throwing a dime into a wishing well.

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What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

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A muslim checks in at an airport and gets on a plane. He reads a book about knitting, gets off the plane at France and goes back to his job as a librarian.

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I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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