what did micheal jackson give to a young boy? -nothing micheal jackson is dead

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What jew get for christmas? Your money.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Did you see the picture of Helen Keller's father? No. Lemme Google it. Oh cool; he had a beard.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A dog walks into a bar, looks at the bartender, lifts its leg and pisses on a bar stool. What does the bartender do ? He chases the dog out the bar and gets a mop to mop up the piss.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the one pound coin cross the road? It was stuck up the chickens ass

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There was a Mexican in a bomb shop ?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Boom.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what is worse then stubbing your toe in the dark? -september 11th

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Two blondes are walking down the street. One breaks her left high heel and the other is called Monica.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Ask me how old my cat is. How old's your cat? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +109

I Wish... I was Charlie Sheen's Dealer

thumb_up thumb_down +97

What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

thumb_up thumb_down +95

What was the biggest turning point during Michael Vick's transformation from despised felon to MVP candidate? He stopped killing dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Dislike this!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse doesn't reply because horse can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Knock Knock. Martha, get the door I'm watching the game!

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Knock Know Who's there Interrupting ghost Interu--BOO!!! Ha HA!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q: why did Helen Keller's dog kill himself? A: Because he couldn't stand to see his owner suffer through blindness and deafness and being the butt of hundreds of offensive and hurtful jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why did the boy drop his ice cream? he tripped over his mother's dead body

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops