Wanna hear a joke? Sure. Too bad I don't have one.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What happens when a japanese boy goes into a planet called Zypharecion which is 2000 light years away with 20% oxygen and 78% nitrogen and 2% of other earthly air elements and heats up a balloon enough that it explodes? He wont be at that planet because it does not exist and travelling at the speed of light has not been proven possible for humans.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

make me a sandwich!

thumb_up thumb_down -68

What's 6 inches long, held in your hand, and has a round tip? A pencil you pervert.

thumb_up thumb_down +99

Q: What's the difference between an African American and a bench? A: An African American is a human being of black dissent, while a bench is an inanimate object that people sit on.

thumb_up thumb_down +85

If you lose your left arm, your right one will be left.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Knock knock Who's there? Labrinth Come in

thumb_up thumb_down +31

That's a lie, buffaloes are extinct now

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What looks and sounds just like a seagull ? A seagull.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

My grandmother always use to tell me "slow and steady wins the race." Well, that was before she died in a house fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q:Ask me my name. A:What is your name? A:Hey why do you need to know that?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

how many indians does it take to screw in a light bulb? one if it can reach 2 if it's high.One to screw in the bulb the other to hold the ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q:What colors make black? A:Nothing Thats a Shade

thumb_up thumb_down -9

whats the main reason Mexicans have legs? so they can stand.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why couldn't the morbidly obese lady order a cheeseburger? A: Because it wasn't on the menu

thumb_up thumb_down +102

What do you call a retarded man? Mentally challenged.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

your mama is so stupid i believe she will have a difficult time finding employment in these rough economic times

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Knock Knock. who's there? It's me. you need to be specific...

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the world series? No Cubs!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? The lighbulb isn't also dying of terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops