What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Hey, where'd my tractor go?

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Duke: Hi Sally: Hello Duke: Nice weather huh? Sally: I couldn't tell ya duke, I'm not a meteorologist.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

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Q: What did the priest say to the rabbi? A: Our God is a wonderful, loving god; praise his name.

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What happens when a japanese boy goes into a planet called Zypharecion which is 2000 light years away with 20% oxygen and 78% nitrogen and 2% of other earthly air elements and heats up a balloon enough that it explodes? He wont be at that planet because it does not exist and travelling at the speed of light has not been proven possible for humans.

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What happened to the boy who fell off the swing? He got hurt.

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what does the pope have against homosexuals a whip

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What did the little crippled boy get for his birthday? He's an orphan so he doesn't know his birthday.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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A man walked into a bar and said ow.

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why did the blond stare at a carton of orange juice for 2 hours? because she was reading the nutrition list, and she is a slow and patient reader.

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your mama is so stupid i believe she will have a difficult time finding employment in these rough economic times

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Dislike this!!!!!!

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why, but I was standing on the other side of the road and I took it home and mamed the chicken with a powerdrill.

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Knock Knock. Martha, get the door I'm watching the game!

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An alcoholic walks into a bar. He is destroying his family.

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What happened when a boy threw a ball at the wall? It hit him in the face

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Knock knock Who's there? Labrinth Come in

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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