What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? The lighbulb isn't also dying of terminal cancer.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbor.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

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Your d*ck is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

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Why was the gorilla crying? His brother died

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Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

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Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

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Where do bananas come from? Mexico

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Why did the girls head explode while eating supper? There was a grenade in her food.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Fishsticks

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What did one muffin in the oven say to the other muffin Nothing food doesn't talk

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26.5% of Americans are obese.

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Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

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Why was Jim fired from his job at the sperm bank? Continual absenteeism and inconsistent work.

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What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink? What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink?

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I've got a boner

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Where do you put a black jew? In the back of the.... oh wait i have never seen a black jew before.

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what did the girl trapped in the fire say? help

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what's blue and white and red all over? -nothing the "red all over" part implies a contradiction to blue and white.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the man fall of his bike? He was struck with a falling koala. Why did the fish fall of its bike? Because it's a fish. What is fuzzy and might kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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Your mom is so...wonderful.

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Your mom smells so bad that she proceeded to take a shower and then didnt smell bad at all.

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what do you call skiediving? a very fun but moderatly dangerouse sport that many people have fun doing from the ages of 19 to 31

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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