Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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What's the biggest difference between the East and West Coast? About 3,000 miles.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Zebras.

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I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

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Jon has 40 chololate bars, he eats 32, what does he have now? Diabetes.

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Why was Jenny walking home alone from school? Because three years ago her parents were murdered brutally by a drug dealer and social services haven't yet realised that Jenny is still living in the empty house.

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You just threw a fireman and a baby out of a skyscraper... who arrived earth first? Adam and Eve. Moral: Because theology is bullshit.

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What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

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How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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How do you kill a blond? You don't. If you do, you'll get reported to the cops and sent to jail.

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What is the worst part about being a black Jew? Having to sit at the back of the gas chamber.

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Oh look, I've found my knife

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 4 beers. The bartender replies, "One at a time, mate, will that work for you?" To which the man replies, "No", leaves, and drives his 1994 Toyota Corolla off of the road into the pit of a volcano.

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What's the difference between mw2 and mw3? Nothing

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How come the black man couldn't be seen on film? He could be seen on film, he's not a vampire.

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A man walks into a bar He says ouch

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What couldn't the Asian drive? Because he had just gotten laser eye surgery, and the doctor recommended that he didn't drive for a few days.

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Q: why did the boy cross the road A: because he was being chased by a pedophile

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why, but I was standing on the other side of the road and I took it home and mamed the chicken with a powerdrill.

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A man walked into a bar, he then fell to the ground screaming in pain.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Your landlord. I'm here to collect rent

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What's worse than stepping on a lego? Being eaten alive by a man-sized spider.

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Dylan Eichas

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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