What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

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What did the man say to the attractive female bartender as he left the bar? Well, it's been fun but I hate you so I'm leaving to kill your entire family.

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what the hell happened to your face

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What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

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Me: Knock Knock! You: Door's Open!

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John had 32 candy bars. He ate 28 of them. What does John have now? daibetes, john has diabetes.

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What did the deaf Jewish Rabbi say to the Italian Priest. What?

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How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

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Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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Why can't Jay cut his hair? Because he has AIDS

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a man walks into a bar he is an alcohol and it's ruining his family

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Little Johnny asks his father how babies are made. So the father rapes him from behind.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

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Did you hear about the guy who fell off the mountain? Oh, well he died

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What do you call a donkey walking backwards a confused donkey

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Your mommas so fat that she may die.

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How do you fit 1,000 Jews in a Volkswagen? Trick question, you can't.

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34

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The meme walks out of the bar.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? - "Robin, get in the Batmobile"

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Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

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What did the black man do with the woman's purse? Safely returned it to her

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why did the boy on stilts pick up the phone? Because it was ringing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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