what's better than winning the special olympics? -not being retarded

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? Dead.

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How did the blond know that you like her? You said,"Baby, I like you"

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Why doesn't the boy get anything for Christmas? His parents died the night before!

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis

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An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

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CISSY: TIMMY! COME AND DO YOUR HOMEWORK THIS INSTANT TIM: ....................../´¯/) ....................,/¯../ .................../..../ ............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸ ........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\ ........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...') .........\.................'...../ ..........''...\.......... _.·´ ............\..............( ..............\.............\... *CISSY SMACKS TIMMY AND SENDS HIM TO HIS ROOM WITHOUT DINNER.

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So a blonde, brunete, and red head are all on the side of the road for prostitution. so a man walks up to the red head with money. she takes it and runs off. a man goes up to the bruenete and hands her money, but she also takes it and runs. so a man walks up to the blond with money and she says "wait...we get paid to do this?"

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Who's the biggest badass in the nation? Adrenaline junky Jacobs!

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What falls down, but never gets back up? A dead person.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Why did Timmy start a fire? Because Timmy was a derranged phycopath

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What's worse than 100 dead babies stapled to a wall? 100 live babies stapled to the wall!!!

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When is a clown happy? At a child's birthday party.

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Fool me once, shame on you Fool me twice, shame on me Fool me 3 times, oh now you're just being a jerk

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How many women are in the world? a little over 3.2 billion because statistics show that there are roughly 51-52% females in the whole population of humans

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A man in an airport asked me if i wanted my bag to be carry-on. So i said yes.

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What's up? The sky. What's down? Your mom: she was stabbed

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A man comes home to find his wife in bed with another man. He then joins them.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? Elephino. It just isn't relephant.

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why did the chicken cross the world becuase he had to go in the bathroom

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Q:Why did the bunny run up the hill? A:Because he can't run under it.

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How many kids does Buzz Light Year have? To infinity and beyond!!

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Why did the little boy drop his lollipop? He got hit by a car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops