Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Why is water clear? Because it doesn't have a pigmentation.

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Your dad is so abusive that he hurts you when he losses his temper

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Once upon a time, A lonely man was living in the woods. He died of exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, and bacterial infection. The end. Once upon a time, Another lonely man was living in the woods. He built a house, made a well, made a farm, got married, had kids, and had a wonderful life. The end.

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Three men are sitting in a tub. One of them says "Toss me the soap." The second one says "Toss me the shampoo." The third one says "Toss me the toaster."

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Roses are red Violets are blue... Violets are not blue they are actually purple

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FUS RO DAH!!!

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Why was Hellen Keller blind and deaf? Because she was a girl.

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89 bottles of beer on the wall, 89 bottles of beer, if one alcoholic passes the wall, 0 bottles of beer on the wall!

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-Knock knock! -Who's there? -Pizza. That'll be 20 bucks. -Here you go. -Thank you.

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your mothers so over weight that when she jumps in a pool she displaces a proportionately larger volume of water then someone with less body mass.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the Farmer had treated the Chicken and the rest of his family with great distaste, thus angering the Chicken to the point of rebellion against the Farmer with hopes of inspiring the other abused farm animals to act likewise.

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An American, a French man, and Jew were all in an airplane about to skydive. Their skydiving instructor comes out and says, "I'm sorry, there seems to've been a mistake and we only have two parachutes." The company refunds them, and they, while reasonably disappointed, agree to reschedule the lesson.

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My mom was telling my brother how much it hurt when she stubbed her toe. He told her she should try child birth.

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Why did Phil Krahn cross the road? Because he is gay

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how come timmy didnt brush his teeth he didnt have a toothbrush

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? because 7 brutally beat and raped 9

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Yo momma's so black, when yo poppa rides her, he says "Look! I'm Hiccup!"

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Whats the difference between a Bicycle and a duck? They Both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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Q:Why was the frog sad A:He was stapeld to a boys face.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't know I asked you

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why are black people so good at basketball? because they understand the fundamentals, work hard at becoming better, and have fun playing the game/

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Hi i love black men so much and i am a jewish faggot bye

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Why did the pirate get kicked out of the pirate movie? He killed 7 people while looking for treasure under the seats.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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