A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks why the long face? The horse, unable to comprehend human speech, promptly craps on the floor and leaves.

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Q: What did the clown say when he got in a car accident? A: Nothing. He died.

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how do you kill a bird? tie it to a tree throw a wasp nest at it and run the tree over with a semi filled with manure

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Did you hear about the guy who lost his arm and leg in a car crash? Well, he just died in hospital. RIP.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A cannibal. What? You are about to die and be eaten. Asshole! i will murder you first!

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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If i was a painting... Id hang myself

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Q) What did the Irishman get for his birthday? A) Drunk

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What is brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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I once did something.

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knock knock who's there Bob I don't know you Bob and if you don't get off my porch this minute i'm calling the authorities.

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Why didn't the man win the lottery? Because his lottery numbers weren't drawn.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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What did one wall say to the other? Nothing. Walls can't talk.

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what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch names

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how do women get from the kitchen to the bedroom? they walk there.

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What's the difference between a black guy and an asian. They come from different race groups.

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what falls from the sky, is white, and can kill you a refrigerator

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what did the man do when he was at the end of his rope? he bought more rope.

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three friends are chilling one day and they all think they belong in Guinness book of world records the first guys says i believe i have the smallest arms in the world, the second guy says i believe i have the smallest nose in the world and the third guy says i hate to admit it but i believe i have the smallest dick in the world. So they all go down to Guinness book of world records inc. and the first guy comes out and says "YES I DO HAVE THE SMALLEST ARMS IN THE WORLD" the second guy comes out and says "YES I DO HAVE THE SMALLEST NOSE IN THE WORLD" the third guy comes out all depressed and mad and says "WHO THE HELL IS JUSTIN BIEBER"

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What did the black guy say when he failed his math test? Crap, I failed my math test!

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Why are kids with Aspergers Syndrome always banned from Mcdonalds? Let me repeat that: Ass Burgers.

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If you took all the veins in your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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