Why did the chicken cross the road? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU CARE? LET THE POOR CHICKEN IN PEACE! No, seriously he was going to his mother's funeral.

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Want to hear a joke? So do I.

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Micael Jackson enters a bar. Everyone screams, and then someone runs over and pulls the cheap mask off the impersonator's face. Michael Jackson IS DEAD, get over it

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Parents are very similar to trees. They fall over when hit repeatedly with an ax.

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Simba was moving slow,so I told him to MUFASA!!!

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Im sorry Dylan Hodge Jamie Stegman

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Why did Mary fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock, Whos there, Not Mary

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What's worse than rain on your wedding day? You scheduling your wedding to be held on an aircraft carrier on december 7th 1941.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows, it's impossible to determine the motivations of an animal that is incapable of speech.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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How did Sarah Palin see Russia from her house? She didn't.

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on a scale from a banana to a pound coin - how much do you like the works of antonio vivaldi?

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what does matt daly like to do in his free time anal

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Dead babies can't paint.

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how do you stop a baby from crawling in circles??????? you nail its other hand to the floor

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A Man, a chicken and a horse walk in to a bar and sit down at the stools near the jukebox. The jukebox is playing Love Me Tender. The Bartender notices the man pull something from his pocket and hand it to the chicken who takes it in her beak and then turns to the horse and passes it to him. "What'll it be?" says the Bartender. "methamphetamines", says the horse ironically.

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Why is there no Asprin in the rainforest? Because it's financially viable to sell pharmesuticals in the vast, unpopulated rainforest.

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An airplane's engine suddenly blows up in the middle of its flight. The pilot turns around and sees a blonde and a brunette. He turns to his right and sees only two parachutes. The pilot says "Ok guys, only two-" Then the plane blows up.

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Knock knock. ... There was no reply because the resident was on holiday.

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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how many babies does it take to fill up a blender? None. they all died before being put in a blender.

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What did the horse say to the other horse? neh

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God made rivers God made lakes God made you We all make misstakes

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Why did the boy fall over? Because he broke his leg. Why did the second boy fall over? Because he was having a seizure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops