What do you call a dog that can't pass an Algebra test? A dog.

Who should you call when your dad overdoses on Viagra. Child Support

BOB: Hey look its spiderman Spiderman: IT'S MANSPIDER!!! Punch! Kick! Ouch!

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

A Duck walks into a bar.

Whats white? A fridge

what do you call a masculine female? a post op transexual

Hey I just met you, and your f$#king crazy,I ate your pizza, so go get me another one!!

What do Abraham Lincoln and George Washington have in common? They both had beards, except for Washington.

Why couldn't the bartender sell alcoholic beverages? He got fired

How do you catch a green elephant? you paint it red and use a Red Elephant Trap

Knock Knock Who's There Carly Carly Who Hey I just met you, and this is crazy So here's my number and call me maybe

Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh good I thought you wouldn't make it.

What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? -They're both purple except the rabbit.

Why did Lisa let go of the monkey bars? she was being molested

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because he didn't have arms.

A duck walks passed a lemonade stand.

Not a joke.

My Muslim friend is always late to everything. We call him 9/12.

A woman walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, my water just broke." The doctor replies "Get off my carpet."

Your mother is so fat.

What do you do if a bird shuts on your windscreen? A:never take her out again.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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