A man walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender then lights him on fire.

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how do you kill a blond? there are many ways but every one of them is illegal and could be criminally chargeable.

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What did the guy say when he came out of the closet? Where's my green shirt?

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How many women does it take to changed a light bulb? 12. 11 to form a committee and 1 to make her boyfriend do it.

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What happened when the woman sent back the pair of shoes she bought on eBay? She obtained a refund from the seller under eBay's return policy.

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Why did the bartender refuse to let the black man in ? Because the bar was about to close.

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How did Bill Framex die? He didn't because he isn't real.

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There were two smokestacks, a little one and a big one. One day, the little one said to the big one, "I'm tired of being the lesser of two smokestacks!"

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Q: how do you catch a bear? A: you dig a hole, fill the hole with ashes, surround the hole with peas, and when the bear comes to take a pea kick him in the ash hole

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What do you get when you cross a dog with an anteater? An animal unlikely to survive beyond infancy.

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-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the most direct path to his destination.

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Roses are red, lemons are sour, open your legs and give me an hour.

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Whats gay, has a nice ass, and can such a mad dick? Everyone at LNS, including me, Glenn. Just kidding I like bitches.

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What used to be red, but isn't anymore? A scalped ginger.

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Wat do u call a priests shit Holy shit

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What is it called when a black guy gets robed A crime

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What is worse than getting stung by a wasp? Getting raped by a sexually frustrated bear.

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roses are red violets are blue my dick hurts blue waffles

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls don't talk.

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I guys look at this new game I bought, what is it, it's called penis it's supposed to be toatally hard

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A man walks into a bar, and sees another man with a huge orange head. He asks the bartender, "Do you know why that man has such a huge orange head?" The bartender replies: I dont know, maybe if you buy him a drink he'll tell you. So that man walks over to the man with a huge orange head and buys him a drink. He says to him: Excuse me, sir but why do you have a big orange head? The man with the big orange head replies: Well, one day I was walking along the beach and I found an interesting bottle. So I opened it and out popped a genie. He told me I had three wishes. The first thing I asked for was to have all the money that I wanted, and the means to get more. Suddenly, My pockets were overflowing with cash. So then I wished for the most beautiful, perfect woman ever created and there she appeared in front of me, and we immediately fell in love. The third thing I asked for was a huge orange head.

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Does anyone know any good ways to piss off an Grammar Nazi?

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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