How do you get a mexican to do the yard work faster? Offer him a 5% bonus.

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Chuck Norris Dies.

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what did nena say in the library while her and her friends were on anti-jokes? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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Ryan Maharaj is INDIAN!

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what di the black kid get 4 x-MAS nothing

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How did the man open the car? He opened in.

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taking out the trash... at night

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Why did the Arab bomb the US? Because it was his job.

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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Im 8 years old, sometimes I get sick, and I take medicine and it makes me feel better. My daughter has cancer.

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a man with a serious lung diesease was brought into a hospital, through continuous care they were not able to save him and he died the following morning.

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Q; How does a priest perform an exorcism? A: He doesn't.

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Why are large breasts so awesome? Cleavage is sexually attractive to both men and women

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just a man and his thoughts....and a smart phone app, and a loving family, thats not the point.

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What's a joke? Funny

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A child walked into the bar. He was promptly asked to leave because he was too young.

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Whats worse than breaking your Xbox? Being raped by your dad.

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A man was driving in his BMW one day when a mini passed him out on the fast lane. The BMW driver thought 'i can't have that!' so he sped up and overtook the mini. Unfortunately he wasn't paying attention and he drove into the back of a school bus. Ironically the bus contained the mini driver's 3 daughters, he was driving so fast because they had forgotten to bring their lunch and he was trying to catch up with the bus so he could give them their sandwiches. There were no survivors of the crash, except for the mini driver.

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Out of Jill, Jason, Jesse, Jane and Harold, which one is the odd one out? Jason, because he only has one arm.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom? Well, that depends if the apocalypse was happening and if there were even any Americans left at all.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. I don't know, I've had a bad day, I can't think straight. Why do you keep asking me these questions? Always talking at me, everyday it's the same - why can't you just shut up?! I would be better off dead, then it would stop, this suffocating blackness. I need to escape...I'm going to do it tonight...pills, something like that...I don't care any longer. Goodbye.

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What do a plum and an elephant have in common? They're both gray, except for the plum

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Why was the black guy good at basketball? When buying African American Slaves the masters often sought attributes that would be useful for manual labor such as agricultural work. The slaves who met these criteria had more chances to pass on their better, more beneficial genetic info via sexual intercourse with other slaves. Through many generations the most beneficial traits such as fine motor control in the phalanges and overall strength were passed down. This is very similar to Darwin's Theory of Evolution.

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A guy walks into a restaurant. "What would you like?" says the waiter. "A glass of orange juice," replies the man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops