How did leatherface cut a tree when he lost his chainsaw? He just asked a friendly neighbor to borrow him a axe

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it.

Church.

Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

A black man walks into a bar. He sits down and has a couple drinks. When he is finished, he generously tips the bartender and walks out.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? No one knows.

why did the photographer take so many pictures? Because he gets paid.

it smells like up dog in here. whats that?

YOU

True fact: every rabbit lives their whole cute life.

theres a mexican, an asian, and an american in a plane, they're about to crash, so they all have to throw out something they have a lot of in their country. The Mexican throws out beans, and says "I have to many of these in my country." The Asian throws out rice and says "i have to many of these in my country." The American throws out the Mexican and says "I have to many of these in my country."

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and a rock? The rock doesn't cheat on it's wife.

what did blonde say to the square? ur a square which is comprised of four equal sides and always have four lines of symmetry.

What's the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? -You can research and find several similarities and differences, but I will not go into detail about them.

a man walks into a bar the bar tender says why the long face? i just walked into a bar

A blind man walks into a wall.

Why can't George Washington sit up straight? He's dead.

An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

The past the present and the future walk into a bar it made no logical sense that three things that will always contradict each other exist with each other and can walk into a bar without limbs or being alive it wasn't tense it made no sense

Why did the little girl fall off her bike? Because she didn't have any arms

Two muffins are baking in an oven. One turns to the other and says, "Boy, it sure is hot in here!" The other one replies, "OMG, A TALKING MUFFIN!"

What did Chuck Norris say when he stubbed his toe? "Oh shit I stubbed my toe."

Whats orange and sounds like a parrot? a carrot

Q:John has 50 candy bars and he eats 45, what does john have? A: Diabetes

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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