If I were a cat, would you help with the toast?

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What do you call two grown Mexican men playing tennis? Two adults showcasing their talent in a friendly game of tennis.

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why did the guitar player cross the road? to play his gig

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Q: What would happen if you threw a red brick into the black sea? A: It would get wet.

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How do you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator? You find someone you trust and say "an elephant has been in my refrigerator".

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Why didn't the Mother packed her son's lunch? Because her son Timmy likes to go to the canteen

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A man named Hank, from Idaho takes a trip to Michigan. When he arrives, he rents a house and starts a meth lab. Hank is spending 7 years in jail. Hank was charged with stealing.

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Why did the penguin die? It got eaten.

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I shot a bitch.

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Why was the little boy inside the house instead of playing with his friends outside? His dad just died from cancer.

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What did Batman say to Robin just before they got in the bat mobile? Robin,get in the bat mobile.

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What happened to the boy after his life saving surgery? He died of an unrelated disease.

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why did those sick people do 2 girls 1 cup? me and my sister got bores.

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what do you get if you cross the mafia and the yakuza? a hefty bounty on your head

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Whats the difference between a Cadillac and 100 dead babies? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

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What do you call a 6 year old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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Where do cows go on the weekends? The slaughterhouse.

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how come bob felt 'under pressure'? because somebody dropped a dumpster on him

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Why was the guy stupid? 'Cause he was!

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A mermaid walks into a bar, but she has no legs, so she flops over and proceeds to drag herself into the bar.

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In soviet russia...the abundance of natural oils and rich agricultural land provide it with a thriving economy

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What's the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck; the other regrets having you as a child.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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