Why did Sheryl Go to the Bathroom? Cause she had Direha...........

A man walks into a bar, and says to the bartender, "Do you know where the library is located?" The bartender describes to him that the closest library is three blocks down, next to the red brick building with a green roof.

What is x + 12 That is impossible because you can't add letters

Joke: two polar bears were in a bath tub. One said "pass the soap." And the other one said "no soap, radio!"

A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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Why did Martha Stewart's skin hurt? My friend has a skin condition :( and is dying, skin cancer is not something to make fun of.

Why did the man smoke pot in the roller coaster? Because he was dyslexic and read the sign wrong and thought it read "You must be high to go on this ride."

Why was the man sad? His intestines were imploding and his head was shot off seventeen seconds ago.

I named my cat Pounce because she jumps. In retrospect I suppose most cats do jump, in fact, they are even known for it.

Why was the boy kissing up to his parents? He only wanted them to say "I love you" for once.

Q: whats worse than finding a worm in your apple A: the holocaust

No!

A white, black, jewish, and hispanic person apply for a job as an accountant who gets the job? One of them.

Two condoms walk into a gay bar. The people in the bar are perplexed that two inanimate objects are capable of locomotion.

What did the guy say to the girl when she was on her knees? Stop playing with it put it in your mouth

Whats worse then 10 black men hanging from trees? Kittens

I went to the doctor and explained to him, "My penis fell off." The doctor gives me an odd look, and then chops his off to make me feel better.

The asian parent's look at their child and say in an angry voice. "Y U NO DOCTOR." The kid was amazed how uneducated they were in english after living in america for 10 years.

why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was black

What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock-eater.

If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5... that's $10.

Friend: What do you call a farting dog? Me: A canine releasing built up pressure as a result of excess carbon-based gases produced by the synthesizing and decompositional digestive reactions in the stomach and intestines. Friend: ... Who is a nerd, pointless, has no social life, and cant take a joke? Me: No one. No one but you is that exceptionally lacking in character.

the little boy got in a ice cream truck he cant sit down anymore

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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