Hitler walks up to a little girl at a concentration camp: - How old are you? - I'm turning 7 tomorrow! - Nope.

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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tell ur mom i love her before i die this would have been a better ending to the tintanic

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When god hands you lemons .. you find a new god.

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Why was little Timmy so fast? Because he's tied up in the trunk of a speeding car.

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What do men like most of all? Let's not lie, BOOBIES!

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Koalas mum is a slut

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to fix a lightbulb? Lets go ride bikes.

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What happened when the Neo-Nazi ran into a group of black people? He listened to their struggles, heard their stories, accepted their diversity and eventually hung up his hateful ways.

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two people are falling out of a plane, a blond and a brunnete who hit the ground first. the blond, the brunnete brought a parachute

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What did the depressed girl say to her mother? I cut my wrists

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Why did Timmy stay home on the day of the big test at the public school? He was homeschooled

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Have you seen Andrea Bocelli's new house? No. He hasn't either.

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What did the nerd say to his friend regarding the test they had just taken? - Nothing, he doesn't have any friends.

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A man stand's on a chair Then he fall's off

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go F*** yourself

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one says "Boy, it sure is hot in here." The second one says "Holly shit! A talking muffin!" As muffins generally don't talk.

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What is pink and gets wet a tounge

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Q. What's brown and sticky? A. A stick.

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What's bigger than a horse ? An elephant.

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This is funny.

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Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? He was tired of working for the man.

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Why was the black man eating fried chicken? He was on death row and it was his last meal request..

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OOOOPPS /

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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