What did the blonde say when she found a dead bird on the sidewalk? "Aww, look at the poor dead bird!"

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Your mom as so fat that I'm gonna give you the name of this doctor because I really care for you...... And don't want to see you so stressed because she is so fat.

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Q: what did one guy say to another guy? A: I don't know!

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have ADD Oooh a cloud

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A woman tells her boyfriend that shes going shopping. Later that day the boyfriend sees her in an alley giving a blow job to a stranger so he says "What are you doing here?"

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Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved. Q) Did you hear about the two guys who wanted to go to Paris? A) They didn't go! Q) Why did the boy throw his Television out the window? A) Cause it was completely broken. Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange. <<< This is the ultimate tough anti-joke Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint. Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because her family lived in the countryside and her family's income was very far below average and in the time of her miraculous breakthrough, automobiles were for the wealthy families and obviously her family was not wealthy. She wouldn't have been able to drive even if she wasn't blind or def. The economy pretty much hated her and her family.

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Who visits Satan on Christmas? A dyslexic box.

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why did jonathan not get any presents for the holiday?because it was the 4th of July

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no sense Microwave

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Why do dogs chase squirrels? Beacuse dogs have very low attention spands and also chase cars and cats.

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a farmer asked me "were is my pig?" and I said ' I got hungry" :()

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house Knock knock Who's there? The chicken

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What do u call a cripple Biv

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Penis. (Note: if you get this you have a dirty ass)

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Knock Knock Whos there? Opportunity

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What did the little boy with cancer ask for from the Make a Wish foundation. A cure and to lose his virginity before he dies.

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I was bangin this girl and she kept yelling the wrong name. Who's raape?

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Logan's gay

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Her tits are so big that they would provide adequate nourishment for any future offspring.

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What happed to the kid who survived cancer? He got hit by a plain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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