What's green and invisible? This cabbage.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?? Because it Died

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What's black and white and red all over? And old fashioned television painted red.

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Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

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How do wake up Lady Gaga You Poker her face

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Why did Benjamin Franklin go to the movies? Dim message, sapi message=InputBox("Find Out","Why did Benjamin Franklin Go To the Movies?") Set sapi=CreateObject("sapi.spvoice") sapi.Speak message

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Duke: Hi Sally: Hello Duke: Nice weather huh? Sally: I couldn't tell ya duke, I'm not a meteorologist.

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Why did the girls head explode while eating supper? There was a grenade in her food.

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What's funnier than House? Family Guy.

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guy 1... "do you no any funny jokes?" guy2 ..."no" guy1 ..."same"

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A man walks into a bar He says ouch

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

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What was the biggest turning point during Michael Vick's transformation from despised felon to MVP candidate? He stopped killing dogs.

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your mama is so stupid i believe she will have a difficult time finding employment in these rough economic times

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Suicide.

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Chuck Norris was walking down the street when he was confronted by an armed, very desperate street robber. Chuck unfortunately made the decision to defend himself, and was shot in the gut before he could complete a roundhouse kick. The robber then took his wallet and ran off, undoubtedly to buy drugs.

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What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the world series? No Cubs!

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I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

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Did you see that picture of Helen Keller's dad? Yes. She didn't.

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Why didn't little jimmy get anything for Christmas? He is Jewish.

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What did the man say to the other man? You smell nice today.

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speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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