How do you say a bad word in your language? Like this: "A bad word in your language"

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what would happen if you took all the veins out of your body and laid them out tip to tip? you die

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Why did the kid with no legs fall down the stairs? Because his dad pushed him...

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What did the prostitute get for Christmas Money

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Person 1: I got a really good knock, knock joke. Person 2: Okay. Person 1: You start. Person 2: Knock, knock. Person 1: Who's there? Person 2: ...

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Whiney the poo and the blustery day.

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Do you want to hear a joke? No. Women's- oh, okay.

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well crap whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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Q: what is the best way to pick up jewish chicks. A: with a pickup line and possibly a gift such as chocolates or flowers

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What did the the girl say to the deaf boy after he asked her out? He doesn't know

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Diarrhea

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Why was Little Bobby sad? He just superglued Uranus to his forehead.

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What did the 14 year old girl get on her birthday? A cake that read, "You're adopted"!

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Who Who who? Who who who Who who who who? Who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who…

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Not your cheese.

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Your mama is so black, she contributes regularly to the NAACP and the United Negro College Fund. Her donations and volunteer work help greatly.

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What did the cat say when it stepped in poo? Meow.

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Girl: I love you in a platonic way Guy: ... Is that some kind of fat joke!

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I have a gun. Get in the car.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot

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why was the apple on the ground? because it fell

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? we are both lawyers

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What do you call 100 Americans at the bottom of the ocean? A US submarine crew.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Impossible, fruits to not have the ability to talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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