Why couldn't the old man play the piano? His arthritis caused him great pain.

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I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

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What did the man say to the attractive female bartender as he left the bar? Well, it's been fun but I hate you so I'm leaving to kill your entire family.

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Ow, there's an arrow in my knee!

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Why did the black man fall off the bicycle? He was shot at close range by one of a gang of young white males. This horrific violence was most likely fueled by racial prejudice. Our thoughts go out to the young man's family and friends.

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Why was the blonde so stupid? He had dyslexia and to make fun of his hardship would truly be a hardship of human morals.

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Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

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Why was school cancelled? Because the school was bombed.

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You just threw a fireman and a baby out of a skyscraper... who arrived earth first? Adam and Eve. Moral: Because theology is bullshit.

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A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

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A: Knock knock! B: A: Guess no one's home.

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nick toth

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i said wut wut in the butt!

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

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Why did lil yazzy watch The Hills at 12:40 in the morning? Because she was casually surfing netflix and clicked on it.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" The owner of the horse then explains the evolution of the species and genetics. The bartender, satisfied, serves the owner a drink and gladly gives the horse water.

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Why shouldnt you throw rocks at a black kid on a bike? Because the kid wasn't riding in your way, you could get arrested for assault and battery, and he probably lives in a low income area and cant afford health insurance if he was injured.

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What's the difference between difference and between? One is different and the other between.

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How many blondes does it take to dye their own hair black and act in an intelligent, sensible manner?

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a man cries out to god.... and god does't reply.

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Your momma's so ugly that she was worried that she would never marry anyone.

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a muslim walks into a bar, he then remembers his religion forbids the drinking of alcohol and walks back out

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a jew throwing a dime into a wishing well.

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someone called a frog a frog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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