Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

why did aodhan not play BO2? Aodhan has Cerebral palsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Jon has 40 chololate bars, he eats 32, what does he have now? Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, She gave me AIDS, and I gave 'em to you! <3 <3

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A Priest, a Rabbi, and Santa Claus are on a plane. This is impossible because Santa Claus does not exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call a woman with a penis? A Hermaphrodite.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

you know what they say... hydrate or die

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the black man do with the woman's purse? Safely returned it to her

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock Knock! Who's there? Your landlord. I'm here to collect rent

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why was Jenny walking home alone from school? Because three years ago her parents were murdered brutally by a drug dealer and social services haven't yet realised that Jenny is still living in the empty house.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's the difference between a white man and a black man? Nothing. They are both created in God's image and likeness so get your mind outta the gutter!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the Jewish man put to death? Because he was convicted by a jury of his peers in a fair trial overseen by a judge in good standing in a United States court for 12 counts of homicide

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your d*ck is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what is worse then stubbing your toe in the dark? -september 11th

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the women hit the telephone pole? There are many theories but one suggests that it is due to womens statistically lower cognitive spacial reasoning abilities.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red It's 4 in the morning I have full blown aids I'm going to bed now, this is boring

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man walks into a bar He says ouch

thumb_up thumb_down -123

Who is a nazi? • Theo Kingdom

thumb_up thumb_down +106

A blind man walks into a bar Backs up, and walks around it.

thumb_up thumb_down +96

What did the lawyer get for Christmas? More paper work

thumb_up thumb_down +82

Your mom is so...wonderful.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

What did the boy do when he was cold? He got a blanket.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops