Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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What was the biggest turning point during Michael Vick's transformation from despised felon to MVP candidate? He stopped killing dogs.

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Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

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Ow, there's an arrow in my knee!

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Your landlord. I'm here to collect rent

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Q: why did Helen Keller's dog kill himself? A: Because he couldn't stand to see his owner suffer through blindness and deafness and being the butt of hundreds of offensive and hurtful jokes.

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What happens when you turn back time? You get "emit."

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbor.

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Did you see the picture of Helen Keller's father? No. Lemme Google it. Oh cool; he had a beard.

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How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

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how many indians does it take to screw in a light bulb? one if it can reach 2 if it's high.One to screw in the bulb the other to hold the ladder.

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A seal walks into a club...

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 4 beers. The bartender replies, "One at a time, mate, will that work for you?" To which the man replies, "No", leaves, and drives his 1994 Toyota Corolla off of the road into the pit of a volcano.

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What's the most stupid thing you have ever heard? Woman's Studies.

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A Woman out of the kitchen

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what has green paint and flies? a garbage truck

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What's 6 inches long, held in your hand, and has a round tip? A pencil you pervert.

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what do you call skiediving? a very fun but moderatly dangerouse sport that many people have fun doing from the ages of 19 to 31

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? He said, "Where's my tractor?"

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What does a turkey do? I don't know I'm not a turkey

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Q: why did the boy cross the road A: because he was being chased by a pedophile

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse doesn't reply because horse can't talk.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, She gave me AIDS, and I gave 'em to you! <3 <3

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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