What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? He said, "Where's my tractor?"

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What does a turkey do? I don't know I'm not a turkey

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Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse doesn't reply because horse can't talk.

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why was the little girl crying? because her dad hit her.

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What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

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You just threw a fireman and a baby out of a skyscraper... who arrived earth first? Adam and Eve. Moral: Because theology is bullshit.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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What's worse than stepping on a lego? Being eaten alive by a man-sized spider.

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What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? The lighbulb isn't also dying of terminal cancer.

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what did micheal jackson give to a young boy? -nothing micheal jackson is dead

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot, you racist!

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Did you see the picture of Helen Keller's father? No. Lemme Google it. Oh cool; he had a beard.

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how many indians does it take to screw in a light bulb? one if it can reach 2 if it's high.One to screw in the bulb the other to hold the ladder.

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Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

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How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

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Knock, knock. The man knocking finds a note taped to the door saying "we'll be back in a week", the man proceeds to walk back home and tell his wife that they weren't home and that he'll return the rake he borrowed from them next week when they're back.

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whats the main reason Mexicans have legs? so they can stand.

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Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

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Q. Why do Puerto Ricans throw their trash away in clear plastic bags? A. So Italians can go window shopping.

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I just lost the game where if you think about the game then you lose the game. so did you.

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whats worse than finding 30 babies nailed to 30 trees? finding coal in your stocking at christmas.

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Your mom smells so bad that she proceeded to take a shower and then didnt smell bad at all.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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