Why did the man punch his wife? Because he was angry

What's the most stupid thing you have ever heard? Woman's Studies.

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a sludge hammer, the other is a watermelon

guy 1... "do you no any funny jokes?" guy2 ..."no" guy1 ..."same"

What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink? What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink?

Knock knock Who's There Doctor Doctor Who? Wrong, it's Dr. Doozer, you have AIDS

Ask me how old my cat is. How old's your cat? I don't know.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why, but I was standing on the other side of the road and I took it home and mamed the chicken with a powerdrill.

Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

Knock Knock. Martha, get the door I'm watching the game!

What did the boy who succsesfully came out of liposection get? Diobeeties.

Jon has 40 chololate bars, he eats 32, what does he have now? Diabetes.

Knock knock Who's there? Labrinth Come in

Why was Jenny walking home alone from school? Because three years ago her parents were murdered brutally by a drug dealer and social services haven't yet realised that Jenny is still living in the empty house.

Ice cream You scream We all scream Because there is a murderer killing our friends

Did you see the picture of Helen Keller's father? No. Lemme Google it. Oh cool; he had a beard.

Do you know the joke about the two guys who went to Paris ? Me neither.

A dog walks into a bar, looks at the bartender, lifts its leg and pisses on a bar stool. What does the bartender do ? He chases the dog out the bar and gets a mop to mop up the piss.

There was a Mexican in a bomb shop ?

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because my first shot missed.

How do you kill a blond? You don't. If you do, you'll get reported to the cops and sent to jail.

Where do bananas come from? Mexico

Wanna hear a joke? Sure. Too bad I don't have one.

26.5% of Americans are obese.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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