Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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What did the woman say to her husband after he came home from a late night of drinking? Nothing, because the last time she did, she got her ass beat.

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What's a bit smaller than the tallest man in the world? The 2nd tallest man in the world.

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Knock Know Who's there Interrupting ghost Interu--BOO!!! Ha HA!

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Knock knock Who's there? Labrinth Come in

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What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the world series? No Cubs!

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A dog walks into a bar, looks at the bartender, lifts its leg and pisses on a bar stool. What does the bartender do ? He chases the dog out the bar and gets a mop to mop up the piss.

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There was a Mexican in a bomb shop ?

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What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 4 beers. The bartender replies, "One at a time, mate, will that work for you?" To which the man replies, "No", leaves, and drives his 1994 Toyota Corolla off of the road into the pit of a volcano.

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What did one muffin in the oven say to the other muffin Nothing food doesn't talk

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26.5% of Americans are obese.

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How come the black man couldn't be seen on film? He could be seen on film, he's not a vampire.

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Q: What's the difference between an African American and a bench? A: An African American is a human being of black dissent, while a bench is an inanimate object that people sit on.

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your mama is so stupid i believe she will have a difficult time finding employment in these rough economic times

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why, but I was standing on the other side of the road and I took it home and mamed the chicken with a powerdrill.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Zebras.

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why did aodhan not play BO2? Aodhan has Cerebral palsy.

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What's the difference between a rabbit and a plum? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Your landlord. I'm here to collect rent

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Ice cream You scream We all scream Because there is a murderer killing our friends

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

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Why was the Jewish man put to death? Because he was convicted by a jury of his peers in a fair trial overseen by a judge in good standing in a United States court for 12 counts of homicide

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Why was the gorilla crying? His brother died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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